I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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