I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
