is your mom at the bar?
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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