There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
