I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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