Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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