I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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