considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
