glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
