I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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