I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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