i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
