Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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