these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
operation harelip BJ is a go
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
