You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
