how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
