If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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