dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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