hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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