I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
