Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
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You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
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You pole danced in your parka.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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