I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
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he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
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After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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