I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
