I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
