ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
