More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
