Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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