he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
