Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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