i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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