KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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