If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
