Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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