My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
