We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
