I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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