Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
