I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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