Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
