She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Girls should come with a carfax report
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
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