she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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