But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
