margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
