i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
