She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Shame - the story of my life.
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