Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
so let's talk penis.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
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