yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize