found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Randomize
