Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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