she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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