I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
My breath smells like gin and sadness
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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