i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
