Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
