so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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