Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
