She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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