Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Randomize
