I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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