I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
