just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize