I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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